X-box Woes
"Dear James,
My mom won't get me an X-Box 360. She says we're not in the right tax bracket. What can I do?
Bored in Boston"
Dear bored,
When a parent says they can't afford something, they rarely mean that they lack sufficient funds for it. Instead, they've assessed the value (to them) of you having what you want this month in comparison to having the money for something they might want. The key to balancing this mental equation in your favor is in deciphering why your parents would buy you anything at all. Ever. This is in fact, very difficult to understand if you're not a parent. Afterall, when was the last time you went out and bought your younger sibling or your friend something they want just because they wanted it? Why buy something for somone that will never return the favor, is likely to forget your gift within the week, and will be asking for something else in by the end of the month? Your parents might not have originally evaluated your desires like this, but likely by the time you're five they'll have figured it out. This is likely why your mother always says no the first time you ask her for something. Of course, as children we never ask just once. This is where the miracle of wish-fulfillment happens. Sometime, over the course of the next 50 requests for the same thing something magical happens. In her mind she starts to rationalize the purchase. Perhaps it no longer seems so expensive to her, maybe she thinks your gratitude will cause you to remember mother's day this year, maybe she even assumes you won't get bored of it by the end of the week. It's tempting to dismiss these delusions as simply your mother "coming around," but this process signifies a much deeper, more instinctual process. It is a shift in how your dream gizmo/designer apparel/whatever is valued. It begins to represent hope, a strengthening of the child/parent bond, leverage, and most importantly, a temporary reprieve. Changing what an X-Box 360 really means to your mother is what's truly key here. It can't just be some flashy toy that keeps you occupied, it has to represent some idea or emotion that she can indulge herself in, even if it is just a return to the status quo.
Sometimes creating this shift of value can take more than simple repitition, however. You might consider hanging around the house more, especially when you have nothing to do. Complain loudly and frequently how bored you are, getting into trouble on a regular basis during these intervals. If your mother is the clever sort, try to arrange your acts of bored frustration so they actually end up costing her more money than your entertainment. Of course this will all appear to backfire at first. She'll claim your behavior is exactly why she doesn't buy you things, she'll ground you, in a fit of frustration she may even speak in tongues. Rest assured though, this is all a necessary part of the process. By the time the 460 comes out, she will break and you'll have what would have been the cutting age technology in video games if you'd just saved up the money and bought it for yourself 3 years ago.
Best of luck,
James
My mom won't get me an X-Box 360. She says we're not in the right tax bracket. What can I do?
Bored in Boston"
Dear bored,
When a parent says they can't afford something, they rarely mean that they lack sufficient funds for it. Instead, they've assessed the value (to them) of you having what you want this month in comparison to having the money for something they might want. The key to balancing this mental equation in your favor is in deciphering why your parents would buy you anything at all. Ever. This is in fact, very difficult to understand if you're not a parent. Afterall, when was the last time you went out and bought your younger sibling or your friend something they want just because they wanted it? Why buy something for somone that will never return the favor, is likely to forget your gift within the week, and will be asking for something else in by the end of the month? Your parents might not have originally evaluated your desires like this, but likely by the time you're five they'll have figured it out. This is likely why your mother always says no the first time you ask her for something. Of course, as children we never ask just once. This is where the miracle of wish-fulfillment happens. Sometime, over the course of the next 50 requests for the same thing something magical happens. In her mind she starts to rationalize the purchase. Perhaps it no longer seems so expensive to her, maybe she thinks your gratitude will cause you to remember mother's day this year, maybe she even assumes you won't get bored of it by the end of the week. It's tempting to dismiss these delusions as simply your mother "coming around," but this process signifies a much deeper, more instinctual process. It is a shift in how your dream gizmo/designer apparel/whatever is valued. It begins to represent hope, a strengthening of the child/parent bond, leverage, and most importantly, a temporary reprieve. Changing what an X-Box 360 really means to your mother is what's truly key here. It can't just be some flashy toy that keeps you occupied, it has to represent some idea or emotion that she can indulge herself in, even if it is just a return to the status quo.
Sometimes creating this shift of value can take more than simple repitition, however. You might consider hanging around the house more, especially when you have nothing to do. Complain loudly and frequently how bored you are, getting into trouble on a regular basis during these intervals. If your mother is the clever sort, try to arrange your acts of bored frustration so they actually end up costing her more money than your entertainment. Of course this will all appear to backfire at first. She'll claim your behavior is exactly why she doesn't buy you things, she'll ground you, in a fit of frustration she may even speak in tongues. Rest assured though, this is all a necessary part of the process. By the time the 460 comes out, she will break and you'll have what would have been the cutting age technology in video games if you'd just saved up the money and bought it for yourself 3 years ago.
Best of luck,
James
posted by James at 1:25 PM
1 Comments:
Well said.
Post a Comment
<< Home